I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
