She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
