I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
