Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
