tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
