He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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