dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
