Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize