We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
