I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
