yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
