After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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