Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
