I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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