Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
