I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
