How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Randomize
