My friends, they love my intelligence
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
