Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize