Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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