He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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