i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
