I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
