When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
