Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
