Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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