Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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