The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
