We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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