my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
