I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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