there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
