O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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