she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think my moral compass just broke
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
