and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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