He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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