Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
