she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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