Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
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