I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
