So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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