Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
