you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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