oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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