Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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