I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Farmville is her only friend.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
