You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
