Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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