i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
