that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
