I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Maybe he injected his testicle?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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