He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
